Flying Catterpillar is the next guest writer for Mix It Up Mondays. If you would like to read more by Flying Catterpillar, She can be contacted via her blog.
I dated a Christian once, his name’s Cornbread. Even though he thinks I'm a heathen, He liked me a lot.
When we were dating I told him that I was working on opening my sacral chakra for him. He didn’t believe me…thought my interest in spirituality was a gimmick…a fad, but he gave me a pass because I wore peasant skirts with pockets and I slipped patchouli in his pockets when he told me he was broke.
One day with excitement I told him, “ I think my heart chakra is finally opening, I can feel it and I’m learning to fly.” He didn’t believe me, if anything, he thought my revelation was “cute”, laughable but cute.
He thinks I’m one of those hocus pocus hipster folks skipping into some new age craze occultish shit. Little do he know my dead aunt betty that died in 1901 been staring me in my third eye since I was about 3 years old talkin’ bout some “come on pumpkin, let’s play concentration to see who can keep they third eye open the longest.”
A few months into our relationship Cornbread seriously asked me if I really believed in magic and all this occultish mumbo jumbo that I talk about. I said “yes.” He sucked his teeth and with a load of sarcasm he challenged “well, if you believe in magic, then let me see you fly then.”
I haven’t seen Cornbread since he challenged me to fly.
Once I finally landed back on solid ground I went to Cornbread’s old neighborhood to find him, but he wasn’t there. I asked around and some wino posted outside of Cornbread’s old building slurred, “hell if I know where that lil’ nigga is, all I know is he betta be in search of Jesus, that’s the only way his ass gon’ make it out these parts lil’ mama.” I bet you Cornbread’s ass is somewhere in search of Jesus Christ too. Little do he know, I be straight kickin’ it with Jesus. I found him when I was flying. Jesus say he stay flyin’ cuz them niggas down below crazy as hell. Everytime he come down to visit they be throwin’ stones at him, callin’ him soft and shit cuz he like to be around a bunch of females. Jesus funny like that, he say, “why the hell all these folks wearing crosses around they necks? I don’t see none of these fools wearing iced out belts around they neck, knowing good and well they momma beat they asses all in the name of love.”
By: Flying Catterpillar
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